Saturday, October 2, 2010

Green Defeat

Dear Distilled White Vinegar,

I had high expectations for our relationship, Vinegar. I had bought into the claims that other cleaners are chemical ladened and causing strife in my life as I knew it. Insert you, distilled white vinegar, to the rescue as the miracle, green, all-purpose cleaner. Mirrors, counter tops, laundry, toilets, shower & bath - you, my savior, were supposed to clean and deodorize everything.

And for the most part, you have lived up to the hype. My mirrors sparkle so much I can almost hear the sparkle 'ding' only heard in commercials. Friends have raved about their experience using you to clean their floors and gym clothes. I have diligently sprayed you on the tile & in my tub. I have used a soft green scrubby to remove the ever present soap scum. Yet I wondered why the tub was turning grey. I've cleaned it several times a week using you, Power of Green, every could not be you that was the problem.

Perhaps it was just the lighting. Yes, I agree it is a little darker in the room as a couple of lights have burned out recently. It must be the shadows cast by my body or that the light is different due to the change of seasons. Maybe it is not grey at all but just a figment of my imagination caused by my weary eyes.

Your kept your ruse up well, sir. Well played, I might add.

Today my old friend Magic Eraser caught my eye. A sexy little thing. She reminded me how well we had previously worked together cleaning the tub. Feeling a little guilty by betraying your trust, I put the magic white sponge in my hand and ran it along the bottom of the tub. Imagine my surprise when she revealed a white tub below the layer of grime you did not remove.

While my mirrors may sparkle to a degree which is blinding, your ability to clean my tub is...well frankly just disappointing. Consider yourself removed from tub and shower duty. My old friends Magic Eraser & Kaboom have reenlisted and are ready to serve.